Bumble Bee with Metal Wings

LT #11 _The Men

In a city coffee shop a group of men sit eating breakfast. Some talk gossip, some talk truth, and a few are laughing. Today, it’s a sensitive subject under discussion: that wealthier men aged 38 years and over are seeking relationships with younger women, often at great cost to their wives and families.

This day, a man—he’s about 45—who’s arrived in a $50,000 car sits eating as usual. He starts talking: “Today, we men are less interested in older female stars,” he asserts. “Rather, we’re interested in young, shining new stars.”

Hearing this, others are sitting at the table laugh, their interest aroused. Another man echoes the first: “Older men like us need to spend our money, then we could have the

women, the beautiful young stars.” He isn’t speaking jokingly. He is probably a man with a lot of experience in society, moving in a circle of older men who spend their money aiming for a deeper relationship.

A “bumble-bee with metal wings” is how men who seek sexual relationships with younger women other than their wife, without any concern for the outcome or family problems that might result are described. Currently, such men are “Chars Steav” characterized as “young old men.”​​

But what makes a man with money and power forget his wife, family and chase young women?

Family relations

Men may express feelings of discontent and complain that they do not want to cause complications in families or pain from relationships. They do not usually receive much empathy from their wife.

A 45-year-old man is exercising in a river front park near the royal palace. His home is nearby. He feels that women as a​ housewife did not respect the husband equivalent, even regarding him as an outsider. When her husband arrived home tired out from work, the wife did not care how her husband felt. Sometimes a husband experiences clashes on the job and wants to speak to his wife about it, but she doesn’t understand. So the only place to relax is outside the home, where he falls for the young and beautiful younger girls.

Some men speak of unsatisfactory sexual relations, but mostly they do not want to talk on the subject. Others said that wives are too busy with children, causing less sexual emotional problems with the husband. But for most, it appears that the keys are in the hands of husbands, rather than a decision of the wife.

However, some men spoke about attractiveness or otherwise of their wife: “Everyone wants to see their wives beautiful and attractive for a husband. Men will look at other women and compare their wives.”

Stereotypes or Social Behavior

Social studies have found that “love” that is attracted by money and materials value while easily established is not firmly established. Success is these days defined in terms of the material—money and property have a high position—but little emphasis is given to happiness in the family. Many spend on the pomp provided by money, forgetting about the value of money.

Based on the social stereotypes, little change. Men are still considered as the pure gold, and women are regarded socially as “a skirt in the crease,” a “piece of white fabric.” Some stereotypes considered a man lucky if he had more than a wife. But these days women have the opportunity through social media to discover what her husband is up to. She will soon know if her husband has relations with other women.

Removing threats using alcohol to forget one’s problems is also becoming a major cause of destruction of family happiness. But drunk, some random accident and the consequence are seen until today. A study found that men out clubbing most always end up with sex. With the money and the means to procure sexual services, they can fulfill their sexual passions, forgetting about wives and children. Some forget that they’ll be infected with AIDS.

The responsibility of men

With money and power, many men will quickly forget their responsibilities in the marriage contract, despite the love of their wife. Then the wife has no choice but to keep calm and maintain the peace on their own. Some are willing to be patient, not getting angry, screaming, or abusive in spite of the hurt.

Why can’t men lead a good family, even with a lack of help from their wife? Knowledge and responsibility are factors that cannot be separated. Some people have the knowledge and skills but ignore the responsibility to help their family to live in peace; happiness is an indispensable duty of a husband.

The consequences:

Hurt always happens to a family where the husband and father is not honest. The man is often hurtful, especially when bad results from his actions.

Hurtful families create hurtful people. Research has found that the mental affect in childhood may disappear only to reappear when he or she is about 30, with greater effect. The nation suffers if the family does not train its leaders with love and good knowledge. And because of the lack of honest and true love of men, it is harder to find true happiness in the family.

Here are some steps that can help men to overcome family the problems.

✳ Look at your family as a precious treasure and value them more than anything else; try to spend time and give much love to the family. Remember, if there is a problem in sexual​ relationship between husband and wife, this needs to be resolved quickly. Note, it is not an excuse.
✳ Foster associations that help us to be more affectionate, putting families first. Some think the nation is more important than family, but studies have found that those who cause problems in the family always cause problems in society. How can children become a good leader for the nation if they do not get the best out of the family?
✳ Reduce alcohol intake, which will help avoid conflicts, accidents and illicit associations. Getting drunk brings HIV infection into the family. Alcohol affects health, energy and weakens wisdom.
✳ Set goals in life and commit to implementing good principles to give hope and a future for your children. Know how to properly use of budget. Avoid gambling, because of gambling make for family crises including violence, and debt, eventually leading to divorce.

Man’s role is to take care of love and happiness to the family, to avoid marriage break-up, or any pain that affects the lives of the family. When people get a good education, peace and warmth of love from family, they will become a good leader for the whole nation.

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